On being male.
IDK, there’s this expectation for men to become strong bread winners or whatever. When they fail, it’s spectacularly heavy on them because they are also by extension failing to be a man. When they fail to secure the love or trust of the person they profess to love, then they see themselves as worthless. Especially so if they have hardly any friends or concerning people. Many friends of mine and my brother literally gave the world to their girlfriend, and then at the end of it were left with nothing (even friends) as they had given their world to the person. My brother was forced into signing a rental lease by his girlfriend. The same girlfriend kicked him out of the apartment he signed for, but half a year later when she was eloping with a guy she manipulated out of an engagement with someone else, she left my brother with every bill for the apartment she was living in by herself. Literally the day before she dropped off the grid and moved to Toronto. For months I helped to get him out of his self-destructive spiral of IM A FUCKING FAILURE AT LIFE, taking him to parties and getting him acquainted with people. IDK, bros 4 lyfe and such. I can see how breakups can quickly lead a man to committing suicide is what I’m getting at here.
And yet they (males) are so stigmatized in society (loser virgin jokes, portrayal in popular media as being dumb and bumbling but also “loveable” and selfless care-givers at their best despite all their mental shortcomings [homer simpson, Peter Griffon, every sitcom husband role ever], etc etc) without relatively much critical analysis given. Or in some cases, scorn given for caring about the issue of how men are portrayed in media. I mean, on one side people are claiming that the patriarchy affects men too. But these same people turn around and accuse men as a whole for proliferating a rape culture and being oppressors. I’m being told to “stop raping women” directly, I’m also being told to teach my sons to stop raping as well. When I criticize being addressed as a psychopathic criminal, I’m told that arguing against this is proof of being a psychopathic criminal. I’m guilty of being a woman hating psychopath unless I keep quiet. Understandably I’m a skeptic.
While a lot of the time I scoff and laugh at “Men’s Rights Activists”, I do give them credit for actually caring about “male issues” because the Social Justice Advocacy side, especially on tumblr, would rather simply tell you to check your privilege because really, apparently your issues are meaningless because in theory so much is going for you in life… right? I mean you are white and male. You are more likely to occupy a highly regarded position in politics or hedge fund managing than most others who happen to have a different skin tone or set of genitalia. But the other 99% of you white males who aren’t occupying such lordly positions? You are just as bad anyway. lol
On one side, men are expected to be big and tough and mean and powerful and thus, successful. On the other side, they (men) are already convicted of being so in the most negative of manners even if they aren’t big and mean and tough at all. In fact, they are even blamed for the actions of those statistically scarce big and mean and tough assholes. Those most affected by this lash out (school shootings or beating their family or loved ones) or even quit entirely (suicide) out of frustration over their self-perceived failure. On school shootings (which are always perpetrated by men) The former (big and tough advocates) blame it on video games or being “wierd”, “antisocial” and “out of touch” with society. The other side blames it on their sex and subconscious desire to dominate others. They are only looking for attention in a world where they must struggle to earn sympathy, one where there is hardly any representation for themselves and the issues they alone face. Any such representation is regarded as a taboo by the supposedly tolerant left. They are either successful, submissive/self-flagellating, or by themselves.
But of course I’m only ruminating on this over four poorly executed paragraphs, haha. It’s really just a thought I’m still struggling to understand myself. I’m just trying to string things together I guess, lol.
I actually agree with a lot of this.
Every one deserves to have their rights fought/argued for. Regardless of gender, skin, or anything.
It’s great when people fight for what they believe in, and really sad when those same people tell other’s that their fight isn’t as worthy as their own. :T
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- emmyhootywho said: I hate it when it becomes a men v. women argument (as it frequently does here) because it’s all symptoms of the same disease—this narrowminded gender definition society holds. Guys may suffer less obviously but they still suffer.
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- gerrark said: Thought-provoking.
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